Thoughtless comments that generalize a whole group

Okay, here we go!  Another admonishment “teaching” a life skill, one that comes from one person’s perspective.  Let’s see what this life lesson taught me.

I am in a group, more than one, and not thinking about these categories all that much most of the time.  That is what I thought.  Now, I am reconsidering a few things and how often I do think about groupings.

I was in a Leadership Training session this week and overheard some people who are mostly like 30+ years my junior.  They talked about “old people” just not being able to understand the new protocols and policies of this company.  Inside, I felt irritation and even a bit of anger threatening to boil up.  I wanted to retaliate, set them straight about how wrong it was for them to put down people in my age group.  I wanted to tell them that they might learn a few things if they would stop talking long enough to listen to our point of view.    I was right and they were right, but I didn’t stop to think about it at that time.

Thank God my retorts stayed inside, with that pot on simmer and went on with the training.  After the heat inside cooled down a bit, I finally realized how valuable that lesson was for me.  You see, I did not know how “sensitive” I was about that kind of ridicule.  I began to understand that we all have sensitive areas about some of the aspects that make us the individuals we are.

All my life, I have heard, “walk in my shoes,” and “love your neighbor as yourself.”  I thought I got that.  I thought I went around treating others “as I wanted to be treated.”  In the instance above, boy, did I fall short on this.  What was I harboring inside that stimulated that kind of reaction?  I don’t know that I know all that contributed to this in me but the lesson started to brew in me that I needed to do something that I used to do but have stopped for reasons unknown.  What I was no longer active in was making two lists.  The first list would be about me, beginning with asking myself why did I feel/believe in that way.  Next would be to isolate each of those issues/reason/education taking me to that stance and then examine the validity of these. What would be the consequences of retaliation?

The second list would be about the person from whom the derogatory comment issued.  What are many of the various scenarios that might have caused that person to make that conclusion.  Was it a homelife that was not warm and caring? Was it their past experiences when they thought they were not heard?  Was is a form of insecurity manifesting in adopting the views of others who seem to know all about that issue?  Was it lack of insecurity financially or emotional disturbances.

That first list and second list may not change anything or ever even explain all the reasons at all with one really big exception.  Forgiveness.  Real sincere forgiveness.  Forgiveness for getting angry, forgiveness for the other person who may have seemed arrogant.  Perspective seems to be the foundation for behavior.

I am grateful that the Holy Spirit stepped into my potentially explosive outburst and told me to get a grip.   After that pot cooled off and time had watered it down, I was able to remember.  I could then remember that is not all about me.  I don’t know the reason causing that offender to voice that opinion, and actually don’t need to know.  What I need to know is that we are NOT perfect. Not one of us is perfect and very few are as good as they could be.  I fit that group.  I am a member of lots of groups with many sensitivities. 

I remain astonished at how good God had been to me even during those times I want to get mouthy because of one insecurity or another.  One day at a time and day by day, God is with me.