Not Premonition but Answered Prayer

This Sunday morning, July 5th, it happened again. I was getting ready to go to church again, trying to connect back with those worshipping together despite my having serious reservations about the wisdom on going back to that sanctuary right now. The reservations I have are a different topic than that which is weighing heavily on my mind. What got my attention is that IT happened again.

As I was dressing, I had a thought, maybe more than a thought. It may have been a message from God. Earlier I had prayed for my heart to be right, for me to understand if writing a blog was indeed a directive from God or just something I thought (me, myself) that I should be doing. If this was what I was supposed to do, then please help to understand this is part of my job description as a person who has willingly joined myself in full acceptance that Jesus, Son of God, was sent to provide a pathway to life after this human life and full acceptance that I am giving over control of who and what I want to be to Him. I believe and I accept with acquiesce of my soul, my spirit, my persona to the role of being a human messenger (not skilled and not wise on my own) of the story of Jesus’ sacrifice and God’s plan for His sacrifice. I am a sinner and deeply regret how much I fail, but I still sin and just wrong sometimes.

I finished dressing and headed out. I went to the overflow room because I feel strongly that the sanctuary is a petri dish because few in that room follow the CDC guidelines for social distancing and appropriate protective measures when in large indoor groups. I wore a mask because we have been told to do this by our government for the protection of others and for ourselves when in these kinds of gatherings. The overflow room provides a space for distancing and there are others in there who want are following this kind of personal separation, the directive from our leaders.

The message from the pastor this morning was, it seemed to me, to be that this whole eruption of protests, riots and political posturing is simply this: people don’t want to be excluded from the “privileged class” and actually want to destroy those whom they perceive to be part of this kind of class. None of us really likes to be told what to do in every facet of our lives and we don’t want to be in servitude to anyone unless we choose it ourselves. Because we don’t always recognize why we feel certain ways, we grab ahold of things that are culturally and currently relevant. Getting to the point, the protests and riots are about some being part of the privileged class but most of us are excluded. This was the same message, thoughts, I had before leaving my house with little variation. This country revolted to form our own country over being overly restricted in our parent country, wrote a declaration of independence and bill of rights to say that we wanted to do away with the controlling privileged class.

The sermon this morning cited the story of the one lost sheep of the 100 sheep, the one that the shepherd left the 99 who were in not in defiance and headed out on a mission to get that one back to the group. The obvious analogy is that the church body exists to spread the message and to keep the message true, to help each member that is veering from servitude of sharing the message to turn to and trying to love like Jesus our Master and not letting our lives further the mission of being a disciple. His example was to continually teach his chosen twelve disciples the truth and how to teach the truth to others. There were many, many lessons. Repetition in many ways. In one sense, getting fellow messengers in line and keeping them from losing their love. The crux is and was to get on with loving each other and sharing of the Jesus as the Way, not our own way.

This is it. I had a premonition, so to speak, of what the message would be, and this wasn’t the first time this has happened. I will say that when this happens that is startling to think I had gotten the early message, the premonition, and then heard it in the sermon. Children are taught the skills they need in life through repetition: reciting alphabet, practicing reading and writing, learning simple and then advanced math. This is what it feels like to me when I have the premonition of the message I will hear and had already had it planted in my mind earlier in the day. I get it. Repetition sets the message or the skill firmly in place. This why I am writing this today—the repetition and the reoccurrence of this repetition happening to me. I believe I had a message and it was from the Holy Spirit. Me! This is not a head thing; this is a heart thing.

There have been many times when I wanted to “hear” God speaking to me. I have talked with others and tried follow their guidance of reading the Bible to get affirmation to what I think is the answer to a prayer. I thought this was how the answers came. I end up would end up thinking I had an answer but I don’t know I had the answer.

Enter these occurrences of repetition with the first message being generated right inside of me and then hearing others direct me or the group (as in church) to the very same thing I had thought. One of my reactions is that I don’t feel worthy for a divine message. Oh, I believe those in the Bible had direct messages and I believe the truth of all that is in the Bible. I admit there is so much that I simply don’t understand but I believe that the Bible is true whether I understand or not. The thing is that I don’t always trust that those in our current times are getting direct messages or we just think we are getting answers. As a people, including me, are pretty messed and a little narcissistic in our lives. We live to prosper, not live to serve, mostly.

The reason for sharing this premonition is that I think we very often change Biblical messages to suit what we want the truth to be, take verses (words) out of context and repurpose these to our current needs. Our mouths say we are praying for this personal need or another’s person need or actions (ours, the government, the community, our neighbors, friends and families) that WE have decided need to happen. I find these words less than genuine, whether it was me or another who mouthed them. I think we (me) sometimes perform rituals and not real communication to our Lord. This is not a condemnation; this is a heartache. I am guilty. Most of us are.

Part of my morning (my intention for my morning) is to pray, talk with God and with Jesus, and somedays I do a rote (head) prayer before my heart kicks in. This is kind of like saying, “Bless this food to the nourishment of my body,” but not really meaning it. Sometimes, I just make a quick mental list of thanks for a roof over my head, more than enough food, comforts in my life and surroundings, et cetera. Then, I pull up a standard list of supplications: “Your will be done. Forgive me for my sins. Help our country to recover. Heal all the sick.” The head is engaged but the heart is not. Sometimes it is, but some days it is just a routine.

I read in the Message sometimes, not all the time, because I can understand what is said when I am clueless in some other versions. Following are messages about prayers and answers.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes! Ephesians 3:20-21 MSG

While he lived on earth, anticipating death, Jesus cried out in pain and wept in sorrow as he offered up priestly prayers to God. Because he honored God, God answered him. Hebrews 5:7-10

“Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? If your little girl asks for an egg, do you trick her with a spider? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing—you’re at least decent to your own children. And don’t you think the Father who conceived you in love will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?” Luke 11:10-13

I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms— I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers. Psalm 13:5-6

“He stood before me and said, ‘Daniel, I have come to make things plain to you. You had no sooner started your prayer when the answer was given. And now I’m here to deliver the answerto you. You are much loved! So listen carefully to the answer, the plain meaning of what is revealed:Daniel 9:22-23