God Winks may be an answer to prayer

There are moments when something comes to me and I know that it was a revelation or a prayer answer or something I already knew but needed a reminder.  In the past, I sometimes called these “Ah Ha!” but now I am occasionally adopting the new “God Winks.”

 I am not a prophet.  I am not even a good person all the time, barely some of the time.  In fact, there are things in my past that I don’t want to talk about.  My life is not one to hold up as an example to anyone.  It is more like an example of really bad decisions at points in my life. I not a Bible scholar nor a strong member of any local body of believers.  I am, however, alive by the grace and mercy of God.  I am a believer that Jesus is the Son of God and Lord of us all.  His sacrifice is the supreme hope that He came to save.

Slate cleared, I know that I don’t deserve a single prayer answered, and that eternal life given after the answered prayer for salvation  which should more than enough and certainly more than I deserve.  I am a perpetual messer-up and have to confess so often it must be tedious for God to hear the apologies.  Yet, I know He hears.  I know He grants some of my requests even though I certainly don’t deserve it and even though some prayers are not more than me just being whiny.

I think I get some God Winks which may be actually granting what I asked.  Sometime, I think I get an answer just because I have a lesson that needs to be learned, including those that I didn’t think something through.   Sometimes, it is a moment of resetting my thoughts to the glory of God when I see an incredible sunset or rays of light making its way to the ground right through threatening black clouds.

The WINK part comes when I realized it was a gift, to lift me up, to point to a need answered, to just God saying hello or….  I am negligent in that I am not more thoughtful in what I say or pray.   “Heal my heart, body and soul” and “Teach me to be what you want me to be” and “Give me wisdom to understand what I am supposed to do and how to do it.”  These words I say, if insincere, are meaningless.

The stories in my life about healing and rescues are numerous.  Many of these I knew right away that He had provided miracles in healing this thing or that in my body.  That I live right now is evidence of miracles.  He chose to bring me through a surgery where my odds were not so good.   I have also had spinal meningitis more than once.  These deserve different stories.  There is much more.

This God wink thing, for me, is about is about a realization, finally, on something that I have even said and believed but didn’t fully understand.  I admit I want instant gratification sometimes (chocolate now!).  The truth is that most of us do.  We get that ice cream sundae in our head, out comes the key and we head down the road to go get one.  When I am tired of being sick, I want to wake up 100% well the NEXT morning.  Like a two-year old that knows better than not grabbing handful of cookies even though this is a “no.no,” we look for instant gratification and whine when the answer is not immediate.  The WINK is sometimes unexpected, simple and/or magnificent.

A a week ago, I had the WINK.  I prayed for compassion, for empathy, for understanding and wisdom enough to know what my steps should be in some challenges.  The challenges are insignificant to what Jesus lived, to what the Israeli’s are undergoing, to so many in general.  Instead of focusing on my blessings, and there are many, I was failing to redirect my focus on God.  Only a God of love would not stop the horrific end to his Son, and that same God loves me so much.  I needed to a lesson that would be personal, not just to someone else.    Thank you, God, for sending that ray through the clouds to remind me you are walking right with me through every challenge and providing gifts when the time is right for gifts.