"who's gonna cook my dinner?'

I am taken to Moorong Rehab. in Ryde by Community transport Jenni comes with me..I am apprehensive as I am not sure what's it's going to be like but I was told that all would be good when I get there as it will be totally different than the hospital and I will learn heaps about being in a wheelchair and how to manage it and myself as I am now. I am taken into a ward with 2 other ladies, one young girl in a wheelchair, who was with her father, and the other, about my age, was in a bed. I was here to learn about my disability, but also get to adjust to being in a room with these two ladies and the place it's self.
We were the only women in the place. The rest were mostly young men,mainly quadriplegics. We all had to go to the gym everyday and the occupational therapist, social worker and psychologists to adjust to our condition and organise our lives and homes to go home too. Oh I needed to go home to my children so much. I missed them so much. I felt such a burden on them as they were leaving their homes and children to be with me. Alot of my friends and family came to visit. My mum and dad I hadn't seen since the accident. That was very hard for them to see me in a wheelchair. It was hard for me to see them seeing me. Rick came but he was angry that he couldn't come in until after 11 am. That was the time the staff finished helping all the patients with their bathroom needs.No-one was allowed in before then. It was hard to understand why he was there as he just wanted things to be the same as they were.He was angry at me all the time. He wanted to know why I couldn't live back with him and still look after him as I did before."Who's going to cook my dinner?" " You can still.......can't you? He wasn't seeing me with a condition that had restrictions physically, emotionally and sexually. He wanted me to sell my villa and fix his house up so that I could still live there. I told him I needed to be near town so that I had easy access to the doctors and facilities that I would need.He didn't want to fix his house when I lived there before my accident.He was happy the way it was. I told him that maybe he needed to find someone new who he could still go bike riding with. Someone that would cook his dinner,... etc.....Five weeks after my accident..he was taking out a girl he met on the net from Woopi...he rang me everyday to tell me about their dates. I wanted to stay friends as I still had strong feelings for him. My life had changed dramatically. His didn't have to. He didn't want to make adjustments to accommodate me, he wanted me to make adjustments to accommodate him. All my belongings were at his house, so there was still heaps to do when I got home to live independently, to start again. My parents lived in my villa and they had to move out while it was renovated to suit my condition. I thought it would help emotionally to just let go of him and let him move on. It did.. I didn't have to deal with his rejection of my condition his anger at my family for being angry at him...it was all too much for me....all this for falling off a bloody ladder.
I got to know the girls in the ward and they were nice and also we all had dinner together in the dining room so got to know all the guys as well. The food was a little better but not much. The girls took turns in coming down from Coffs to stay with me, so Suzie came next and then Alison. They would push me up to Ryde shopping mall and we would get some nice food and I bought clothes to wear as I needed different types of clothes and shoes now. My shoes had to be 2 sizes bigger because of the swelling and I couldn't wear underwear because of the seams. No back pockets in your pants because of pressure areas. Everyday I had to check my skin to make sure I wasn't getting pressure sores from my wheelchair cushion or the bed on my butt and feet. It was a whole new way of living with myself now. My legs had to be on pillows of a night and I had to connect myself to a night bag to drain my bladder. The staff would come in 2 or 3 times a night to empty it it of course waking you up. I learnt to shower myself and empty my urine bag. Learnt more about Spinal chord injuries by going to the lectures that they held there. I had to have wheelchair lessons so that I could manage once out there on my own. Totally frightening.... I wanted to go home to my children and grandchildren, they miss me too..... oh not yet! we have to make sure you can do everything first and you have all the right equipment....maybe learn to drive a car with hand controls......